Breaking Up With Your Parents Vs. Walking Away

So, I was in a very emotional state this past weekend. My brother was chosen to be the youth speaker for my church's Men's Day prayer breakfast. I was so excited to hear that he was chosen I made up in my mind that I definitely wanted to be there.

A few days later that week, Saturday, we had all met up at the biggest theater in my hometown, Showplace 12, to see the final installment of the Jurassic Park series. Maybe it's not the final installment, but let's just assume for the time being that it is. After the movie was over, I drove back home to my apartment and went to bed. I was dead beat tired. I woke up the next morning two hours before nine 'o clock and went through my normal routine of making breakfast and turning on the news, etc, etc. Then, a little after nine' o clock I got a text from my mother: Are you going to see your brother speak? I immediately jumped off of my sofa and ran to my room to get ready. Yes. What time is it at? I had completely forgotten that it was that day. I thought it was next week and my mom literally had me rushing to get to church so I could see him. I got no response for almost an hour and then she texted me: Don't worry about it. It already started. I responded back: Well can you at least record it? Seriously mom! It started already! Why would you ask me if I was going to go if you are already there and I just woke up? Not cool mom. Not cool! 

I was so angry and so upset at her, but I was determined to get to the church. I drove all of the way over there and right before I turned the corner she texted me that his speech was over. My heart, right then and there, broke into a million pieces. I turned my car around and drove back to my apartment. Angry at her. Hoping that her day would be the absolute worst because she ruined my morning. I wanted her to reap the consequences of her actions.

Finally, I had made it back home. I dropped all of my things on my living room floor, shut my garage door and cried for a good fifteen minutes. I was so upset that I missed his speech, but I was even more upset that my mother got me all excited for nothing.

I introduced that story to let you know that I am not immune to being upset with my parents and the way that I react and respond to the situation plays a huge impact on my relationship with them. My mother and I are like best friends. She may do something that pisses me off and I may not talk to her for a few days, but at the end of the day that is still my mother and I will always find my way back to her. I've never been the type to break up with my parents because I have an everlasting connection with them and God. To just break up with them would be a tragedy within itself no matter what the circumstances are. But I know some people that would say different.

There are some people that have parents that literally ruined their lives and while I may never understand that, you have every right to not want to communicate with them. But like I told my ex, you can be mad and you can hate them, but you will continue to feel miserable if you don't forgive them for whatever they did. Some parents may never change, but every one of them deserves forgiveness. 

So, what I want to address in this blog post is when it is appropriate to break up with your parents and when you should just walk away. Before I get into this, I want to assure you that you can never truly break up with your parents. I mean, they created you. Yes, they have made some horrible, life-altering mistakes, but they are still your parents. 

You should break up with your parents if...

• They have done nothing but harm, degrade, or disappoint you
• They have neglected you
• They have verbally, physically, or sexually abused you
• They have allowed others in the family to verbally, physically, or sexually abuse you
• They are rude and negative
• They ignore you and your needs
• They ignore the needs of your children

You should walk away from your parents if...

• They disappointed you
• They try to control the situation you are in
• They spoil you (That is what I am going through right now)
• You disagree with their thoughts or opinions on something
• They forgot your child's birthday
• They forgot your birthday

Knowing the degree of the situation is key to deciphering which one you will choose. I normally end up being the one that walks away because my parents have never been the type of people to harm or neglect me in any way. They make me angry and cry sometimes, but they have never made me hate them so much that I wanted to break up with them. Ok, maybe my dad during one season of my life but thank God that is over.