Quick Guide: The Aftermath of a Friendship With Your Ex

So, I just recently broke off the friendship I had with my ex over Memorial day weekend; and while it hurts me to say that it happened I am actually very much relieved. After we broke up in February, I held onto the memories that we shared while we were together and that was a very dangerous territory. I held on to him so much that I ended up strengthening my feelings for him and falling even deeper in love with him. As my feelings progressed, it got to a point to where I had to confess them to him several months later, aka last week, and long story short we broke into an intense argument about him not understanding what I was asking of him and me just getting more and more frustrated with him. Needless to say, he called me crazy and blocked me.

For me, it is always difficult to be friends with a past lover because there is always that chance where your feelings toward them will either grow or shrink and you have to be ready for what occurs after the fall. While I did not expect him to respond the way he did to me, I was better prepared for it because he had crazy ex-girlfriends in the past. So, after he called me that, I took a breather and texted him back an apology, that I forgave him, and that I hope he gains success in his career and his relationships. It took me a long time to get to that point in my life where I can say something like that and mean it. I used to be a very argumentative and relentless female who would just throw back what was thrown at her. But no, I wasn't going to make that mistake again. I still deeply cared for him and I did not want him to leave me thinking that I was a horrible person. Instead, I did what Christ would do and forgave him. 

Now, I know what you are thinking? What does all this have to do with break-ups and friendship? You are going to come to a point in your friendship where something inside of you will disturb you. It will overpower you and you will wonder where it came from. Then you will have to decide whether or not you want to address the situation or not. Some of you may be like me and you just have to tell the other person how you feel or whatever the case may be. Others of you may just be able to brush it off and move forward with your life. Whichever category you fall under, just know that you may not get the results you were looking for in the beginning and take the punches and move forward.

Since that argument happened, my mind and my heart have been freed from him and now I can make myself available for the next guy. I have no strings attached. Just know that whatever happens you can move on from this and you will be all the more grateful that it happened. There may be some pain and that is expected. But that pain will dissipate over time and you will be ready to love again.