Sensational Self-Care and Real Relationships

We've all heard that men are dogs, and women are bitches (female dogs). Women have also been compared to cats. You all know cats. They are cold and mean and won't let you pet and cuddle with them like dogs. If they really hate you, they will scratch and bite you. But I am here to break the common stereotypes of men and women. Despite the cuteness and playfulness of dogs, they can also be mean and aggressive and they can have multiple sex partners. For cats, they can be sweet and cuddly, once they realize you are not a threat. I'm about to give you the pros and cons of cats and dogs when it comes to men and women, but first a story: Once upon a time, I had a boyfriend. This boyfriend was my very first real, intimate relationship. We would spend time together when we could and honestly we were the perfect combination of cat and dog. He would get excited whenever we made plans to see one another and would stare into my eyes with a smile on his face and he would give me ...

So, let's talk about ghosting. If you haven't heard of it, sit tight because I am going to define and describe it to you in great detail. I've had it happen to me one too many times and I think it's about time to expose the ones who ghost and how you can handle it without wanting to destroy the person on the other end.  The last guy that I was so deeply interested in ghosted me after we had messaged each other for almost two weeks. Now granted before some of you look at me strangely, I have no idea what I am doing or how things were going to turn out. We had already set a date, but we just kept texting each other. Well...he kept texting me. Before the end of the day on Tuesday, the week before last, I hadn't heard from him. We had gotten into the habit of texting each other all day until we both fell asleep at night and the conversations were drawing us closer together. I was fine with it until I decided I needed more detail from him regarding our brunch da...

So if I haven't told you already, I love podcasts! I listen to them every week. Sometimes old episodes. Sometimes new episodes. They keep me informed without making me feel like I have FOMO. I have a few that I am listening to right now that are my favorite. If you don't listen to podcasts, what are you doing? Find a subject you like and listen to your heart's content. You would be surprised how many episodes you could get through in one day if you like what you hear. The Complete Guide to Everything Girls Gotta Eat Why Won't You Date Me This Is Why You're Single Stuff You Should Know Unladylike Therapy for Black Girls Ridiculous History (My newest one) Check them out, let me know what you think in the comments!

Can you feel the heat yet? It's summer! And it is only going to get hotter from this point forward. July, in my opinion, always seems to be the hottest month out of the year. If you have not made any summer plans yet or you haven't made the most of your summer, I am about to teach you how to own it...like a pro. First of all, in order to own summer like a pro, you have to fill in the empty spaces of time with activities. Something that you enjoy doing. This could be binge-watching your favorite Netflix show or riding your bike around the neighborhood/park or getting your tan on in your own backyard. It doesn't matter. There are 24 hours in a day and at least 8-12 of those hours should be spent occupying your time with something or nothing. Consider picking up a hobby. This could be going to Target just to scape the place for some cool items, driving all over town with the windows down and your music all the way up, settling down with a good book. If you have a good...

So, I was in a very emotional state this past weekend. My brother was chosen to be the youth speaker for my church's Men's Day prayer breakfast. I was so excited to hear that he was chosen I made up in my mind that I definitely wanted to be there. A few days later that week, Saturday, we had all met up at the biggest theater in my hometown, Showplace 12, to see the final installment of the Jurassic Park series. Maybe it's not the final installment, but let's just assume for the time being that it is. After the movie was over, I drove back home to my apartment and went to bed. I was dead beat tired. I woke up the next morning two hours before nine 'o clock and went through my normal routine of making breakfast and turning on the news, etc, etc. Then, a little after nine' o clock I got a text from my mother: Are you going to see your brother speak?  I immediately jumped off of my sofa and ran to my room to get ready. Yes. What time is it at? I had completely ...

There is going to come a time in your life when you have tired yourself out from dating. You've done all you can to find the right person but you keep running into walls. I'm sure at this point with all of the trials and tribulations you have been through you just want to throw your hands up in the air and just say "I'm done!". Well, I am here to tell you don't give up just yet until you ask yourself these questions. Am I dating just to date? If you are dating just to date, then it shouldn't matter who you end up with because you have no set standards for what you look for in a partner. Without standards, you are opening a door to a partner that will give you all of the things that you don't want. The best way to get something out of your romantic relationships is to set standards. Keep in mind what you absolutely have to have in a partner. Make a list and keep that list in mind as you date. If the person you are dating does not align with...

If you are in any way like me, you know that being single has its challenges. You always feel the need to compete with your friends' attention and you feel like the third wheel. But you also begin to wonder if there is anyone out there for you. Someone that gets you and is literally on your level when it comes to your likes and dislikes. Someone that you can connect with on an intellectual level AND on a spiritual level. If you are not like me, maybe you have it all figured out. You are content with being single and you may never want to get married or be a part of any long or short-term relationship. You are very comfortable with your own thoughts, space, finances, etc. That's cool too! All the power to you! But at the end of this blog post, I want to help and clarify, for both parties, some of the greatest benefits of being single. Time- When you are single, you are in control of what you do with your time. I know having a job/career is part of that, but don't th...

None of us asked to be born and yet here we are. Trying to make it through this life without falling out and giving up. I get it. But at the end of the day, your life is what you make it. Do you have dreams and aspirations that you hope to fulfill? Have you talked to that girl you have been eyeing for the past three minutes? Did you finally decide to say "hi" to that guy you have been walking past every day? These are the things that make life worthwhile and not matter who crapped on you or beat you down...you are important. You have a purpose. Some of us don't know what our purpose is. We came into this life with no instructions. How am I supposed to know what my purpose is in this life? How am I supposed to know what I was meant to do? Well, I can't answer any of those questions for you because I am still trying to answer them myself, but I can give you three ways that you find your purpose and make it worth your while. Pretty sure I said that already, but I ...

So, I just recently broke off the friendship I had with my ex over Memorial day weekend; and while it hurts me to say that it happened I am actually very much relieved. After we broke up in February, I held onto the memories that we shared while we were together and that was a very dangerous territory. I held on to him so much that I ended up strengthening my feelings for him and falling even deeper in love with him. As my feelings progressed, it got to a point to where I had to confess them to him several months later, aka last week, and long story short we broke into an intense argument about him not understanding what I was asking of him and me just getting more and more frustrated with him. Needless to say, he called me crazy and blocked me. For me, it is always difficult to be friends with a past lover because there is always that chance where your feelings toward them will either grow or shrink and you have to be ready for what occurs after the fall. While I did not expec...

After completing my final semester of school. I finally have the time to rest, relax, and nap. Even if you are not a student, sleep is a very important aspect of your health. If you are lacking sleep you are more likely: to be moody, have an increased chance of acne, and to develop an illness. So, you can see why I am pushing this so bad. Even during the semester, while working two jobs, I was lacking sleep some nights and had to work on 5 sometimes 6 hours a night.  Once I got off work, I would opt to take a 15-minute nap just to replenish the sleep I lost the night before and I could continue my day no problem. Some of you may have insomnia or sleep apnea and I get it. Take my advice and seek information elsewhere for these conditions. If that means you have to get a prescription or get a CPAP machine(or update it), then do that. Once you have confirmed with your doctor for these conditions, feel free to take my advice and apply it to your regular routine. I can't guara...

Everyone loves music! I know I do! And whatever music you listen to I hope it is music that you enjoy and music that makes you happy. Yes, I know that sad songs can be healing to some degree, but if all you are listening to is sad music or music that brings you to a dark place. That is a problem! Trouble doesn't last always and you shouldn't be stuck in whatever it is that is making you upset. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes I'll have a rough week or a bad day or my boyfriend won't text me back. No matter what was going on in my life, I always had music to bring me back to center. To remind me that trouble doesn't last always. To remind me that I am awesome and beautiful and amazing. I've been listening to my Girl Power  playlist on Spotify a lot lately because I have been upset about what has been going on with my boyfriend and I. Once I play that playlist, I take my focus off him, off of us, and my attention is now focused on me. See tha...

One of the biggest benefits I have found that works wonders when it comes to self- care and relationships is prayer and meditation. I wouldn't be the person that I am today without it. It is such a great stress reliever and more importantly, it is a great way to deal with negative emotions. Think about it. We all go through this life day to day taking on the tasks of other people. But do we ever think about ourselves? Does anyone ever ask what we need? That is why it is so important to meditate and pray. Even if you are not a prayer person feel free to just say some self-affirmations every day. I have two Pinterest pages, as shown below, on self-affirmations and they are so helpful, not only in times of trouble, but at any time of the day:  https://www.pinterest.com/denisegibson26/mindfulness/ ,  https://www.pinterest.com/denisegibson26/mornings/?eq=Mornings&etslf=7057 One of the greatest tools to increasing your productivity is positivity( and coffee, lol). If you h...